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The 5 why’s

There’s a simple process that can be used to help you in the process of healing when you feel a block. Ask yourself “why” you feel blocked five times in a row. I know, this may seem overly simplistic, but when you ask yourself why this many times, each time is like peeling a layer of an onion, going deeper and deeper toward the core. The first one or two answers to your why may be more surface-level.

Here’s a simple example:

“I’m upset because I dropped my smoothie.”


“I’m so clumsy and I’m late and now it’s a mess.”


“My family gets mad at me when I drop things or trip over things.”


“I shame myself for being clumsy.”


“As a kid, I was clumsy and my parents used to get mad at me for it.”


“I don’t like this part of myself.”

Do you see how something as simple as a mistake on the surface can have a deeper root in a pattern that makes us feel small? I don’t think we were created to feel small. And by small, I don’t mean that we should walk around being prideful or arrogant or like we’re the most important person in the room. By small, I mean deflated, defeated, and full of shame. Living with these types of “blocks” can be debilitating. You can see how easily shame and negative statements to ourselves can pour in, stacking on top of each other throughout the course of a day. If we’re not taking an account of the things we’re letting in, we can become buried before a day is over. Now imagine applying the power of compounding here; if these “blocks” are stacked on top of each other each day, 365 days a year, how much shame are we throwing on ourselves throughout the year?

It’s crushing.

The weight of this extra, seemingly invisible, layer of baggage we carry around can feel so heavy. Carrying this regular stream of “blocks” in addition to trying to process the world and being present in all of our relationships is simply beyond our human capacity. We can’t possibly see, hear, and know others if we can’t see ourselves because we have so many blocks (and we all do) that we can’t seem to muddle our way through the muck to get up to the surface for some air.

So how do we climb out? Isn’t it time we lifted it? Use the 5 why's anytime you need to get unblocked, it's a simple yet powerful tool to help you maintain a state of clarity.

The 5 Why's - lighted question mark image


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