There are so many things that happen as we practice allowing ourselves to be seen, known, and heard; it’s truly transformative in so many ways. Some of the shifts happen internally, deep within us. Some of them happen without us even realizing they’re happening, and some cause us to marvel at how our responses to ourselves and others have changed after the complete opposite response now comes out of our mouths. Our default, old, tired patterns of communication retire, and the new ones we're working so hard for become natural simply by seeing, knowing, and hearing ourselves and others. Here are some of the benefits I've seen in myself and others:
1. It gives healing.
If people don’t have to continue to prove, justify, explain, or overcompensate when around us, they can feel safe to be where they are. This allows us to be part of their healing process. What's wild about this is that it might even be a part of healing old wounds in people without them or us even knowing it. We’re not responsible for others’ healing, but just by seeing, knowing, and hearing them, we might be a part of someone’s healing process. Many of us don’t have a space where we experience that, and if we can represent a place of safety for people, we can be a soft place to land throughout life.
2. It brings fulfillment.
Daily life on the surface level may be okay, but it’s just that, okay. You get up every day and have your routine of the things you do and you’re satisfied. Or maybe you’re not because you know there’s more out there for you. Maybe you feel completely empty inside or restless at the soul level. Either way, there is more. When you crack open the door to seeing, knowing, and hearing people, it will bring you joy. The deeper level of connection adds another level of fullness to your daily life. Meaningful interactions throughout the day add a steady stream of connection that fuels you.
3. It fosters contentment.
Think about a time when you felt seen, known, or heard. Did you feel more resolved? When you’ve experienced someone seeing you wherever you are, did you feel more at peace? Peace brings contentment. We stop thinking we need other things to make us happy when we're content. The imposters that try to tell us we'll be happy if we have them, such as that next level of achievement all the way down to that one more drink or pint of ice cream, hold a lot less power when we feel content with ourselves where we are.
4. It is disarming.
When we feel seen, known, and heard, we can move out of a place of defensiveness and into a place of safety. We feel okay where we are, and the person we're with isn't asking us to defend, protect, or justify our thoughts or ideas. Safe spaces allow us to let down our guard and share things freely. When we’re able to do this, we get to feel the freedom and release that
comes from sharing things and both parties get to experience genuine connection.
5. It creates connection.
True connection is literally life changing, and as humans, we’re created to need it. It's the type of connection that we feel when we can come wherever we are at any particular moment and have a listening ear that will hear us without making judgments as we're talking. It’s the type of connection where we're already known before we even say anything. We can seek this out in our lives, but we can also become this person by giving this to others.
6. It’s a solution to a worldwide problem.
The world has and will be full of conflict, hurt, and hard things because we're all flawed humans. I can't help but think that if each of us took the small steps each day to see, hear, and know others around us, our neighborhoods, communities, and cities would look different.
As you read over these six things, doesn’t it sound like a breath of fresh air? A life with more healing, fulfillment, contentment, connection, and less defensiveness?
It’s possible, and it’s possible for each one of us.
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